Nigerian linguist shares his experience with a hotel receptionist who said "she is equal to the task in case he needs a toy to play with"

 

A Nigerian linguist, Ogbonnaya Okoro, has shared his experience with an overly dedicated  hotel receptionist who offered herself to him. Read below: 

 

I just checked into this hotel, took my bath, stepped out to walk round the street before I would start work.

 

The instruction is to drop key. I presented the key to the receptionist.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked.

"Why not?" I drew my ears closer.

 

She looked up and down, uneasy like one about to steal meat from pot. Nobody seemed to be coming.

 

"In case you need a toy to play with I am equal to the task".

 

It took a few seconds for this to register into my small head. I laughed like a mad man. Like...am I in Nigeria or finally moved to obodo oyibo? But I like blunt ladies. Nd? Naija ad?r? blunt. Then no be Naija I Dey.

 

This must be in the dream. I had to pinch myself. Two things are involved. First, if the pinch pains me, it is reality. Second, if I feel no pains, then it's dream. But the pinch pained me. It's true.

 

When I was paying for the room, she passed me the rules and regulations. Smoking isn't allowed. I told her no need. I don't smoke.

 

"But those who smoke are good in bed"

 

I pretended I didn't hear that. Of course nt? chiri m. Aunty press POS make I dey Waka, I have deadlines

 

This time around..."toy".

Ya b? ka m p?wa toy.

 

The angels began to whisper into my ears:

"Focus,

boy focus!"

Any? gbaga ?s? eluigwe...

 

But one useless spirit was telling me: "opportunity comes but once"...

Ma Angel Michael ma Angel Gabriel, ha n? m left and right....mma agha turning as it did Adam and Eve when they left Eden.

No crossing.

? b?ara ?r?, focus!

 

As I turned to look at her...

I paused, she paused; both of us paused.

?n?kwa m toy? Ap?gburu m onwe m na toy.